Kayla's Story
Kayla's Story
by Janelle R.
In March 1998 I discovered I was pregnant with my first child. I had only been married a few months and was still getting accustomed to married life and being the mom to 3 wonderful stepchildren. I felt from the very beginning that this baby was going to be a girl. Despite morning sickness for the first 5 months I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy. Our baby was due on November 12, 1998. Her sister’s tenth birthday was the 5th of November and we joked about how funny it would be if she were born on that day. At about 2am Halloween morning I woke up and had to use the bathroom. As soon as I stood up I felt a trickle of liquid run out of me. I woke my husband up, excited because I thought my water had broken. We went to the hospital and were told it was not amniotic fluid (they weren’t too sure what had happened). We went home disappointed; I was so ready to have this baby!! That day we rested while the other kids spent it at their aunt’s house. It was nice to have some time alone with my husband. We walked around town and got the kids Halloween costumes. They spent the night at their aunt’s house and we got a good night’s rest. That next day, Sunday, we went for a walk on the waterfront and got ice cream. It was so beautiful out and I was so jealous of all the girls I saw in the little jeans with shirts tucked in! When we got home I discovered I had lost my mucous plug. I tried not to get too excited since I knew it could take hours or weeks to go into labor.
Later that night I woke up only to throw up. I figured it was the dinner I had not agreeing with me and went back to sleep. At 4am I was awoken again but this time with “cramps”. I had had cramps during my entire pregnancy and was assured by my OB that they were normal so I did not think anything of them. I took some Tylenol and they would not go away. I took a warm bath and they still would not go away. I was getting mad thinking, these stupid cramps, when I finally noticed that my belly was getting hard when I got them and they were coming and going every 4 to 5 minutes. Duh! They were contractions. I called the birth center and woke up my husband. We dropped off the kids and headed to the hospital. It was 6:30am when we arrived and I was told I was 1cm and 75% effaced but that they would probably keep me since my contractions were so regular. I was once again disappointed-only 1 cm! At 7:30 my ob arrived and announced I was 3cm and completely effaced. I was happy to have made so much progress in such a short amount of time. While he was examining me he asked if I wanted him to rupture my membranes. I was having a contraction when he asked and said, “I don’t know” because it hurt and I could not think yet. He said, “Yes you do” and proceeded to break my bag of waters. “Oh, %@$&” I said. I was not expecting it and was mad that he did it without my Ok. Before he left he asked me if I had any request for labor/birth. I said, “Yes, drugs!” He told me he would give me something to help with the “anxiety” and later I could have an epidural.
Shortly after I had to use the restroom. Pink tinged amniotic fluid just kept coming out of me as I stood and sat on the toilet. I decided that I did not like how that felt and wanted to stay in bed after that. The contractions intensified. I had no idea how to manage them! My husband would try to rub me but it did not feel good and finally I had to ask him not to touch me. At about 10am I got my first shot of Stadol. It made me feel drugged and loopy and wore off in about 20 minutes so I asked for more. By 1pm I had had 3 shots of Stadol (they did nothing for the pain, just put me out of it enough that I did not care) and was dying for my epidural. The nurse said I was 5cm and she would order it. At 1:15 the anesthesiologist came in to do the epidural. He had me swing my legs over the side of the bed and lean forward to round my back. During the time it took to administer it, I had several contractions but was not allowed to move. It was so painful! I felt it was worth it, however, and knew it would not be long before I had relief. I somehow thought that I would be able to enjoy the birth of my child more if the birth was “pain-free”. At 3pm I began to feel some pressure. I thought, darn it!! This epidural is not working anymore! It turns out that I was complete and ready to start to push.
The nurse had me lie flat on my back and push. Soon after, shifts changed and I got another nurse, one with a much better bedside manner. I pushed and pushed and pushed and nothing! A little after 4pm you could see the top of the baby’s head but I could not feel anything enough to push her down beyond that. Close to 6pm I started to swell from pushing so much and so hard but with no progress. The doctor swooped in, turned off the epidural, cut a good-sized episiotomy and yanked out my daughter with forceps. She was placed on my belly. She looked up at me with the same eyes as me!! She was born at 6:10pm on November 2, 1998 and weighed 7 lbs and 13 oz., an early birthday present for her big sister. She was quickly taken away and needed additional oxygen while I was repaired. She was left with her Daddy in the warmer while the nurses took me to shower and clean up. My bottom hurt so badly! I never imagined it would hurt so much!! I climbed back into bed and was handed my beautiful daughter, Kayla Reanne, to try to nurse her. She was tired and could not latch on well. I was tired as well and hungry (they brought my dinner up at 5pm and it had gotten cold and yucky before I could eat it!). We spent the next 2 days together in the hospital with her sleeping on my chest and trying to learn how to nurse. I was also anemic and was having problems with excessive bleeding and they were getting concerned initially about hemorrhaging. After we went home Kayla developed jaundice and had further trouble nursing due to that. I was so devastated thinking my baby would never breastfeed. After a week and the jaundice had cleared up she began to nurse like she should and never wanted to stop! She did not wean until she was 2 ½!! I was very happy to have a healthy baby girl but was disappointed in my birth experience. I was upset that I did not choose to take control of my birth and was not well educated about it. I felt robbed of birthing her, as if she was just yanked out of me instead. I chose then to find a better way and 3 ½ years later I gave birth naturally to a baby boy and am expecting another one here soon. Kayla has always been taught to trust in her body and that mommies are made perfect to have babies. My hope for her is that one day she will be able to birth her own babies naturally and with the confidence in her body’s abilities to birth.
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