T.J.'s Story
T.J.'s Story
by Janelle R.
In November of 1998 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Despite the fact that she was healthy, I felt robbed of birthing her through the countless interventions that took place throughout my labor. I knew there had to be a better way to birth. Throughout the next three years I read as much as I possibly could on natural childbirth and midwifery. I had wanted to be a midwife since I was young, but during my first pregnancy I was uneducated about it. I became pregnant a second time shortly before my daughter’s third birthday. We were a bit surprised since I have had severe problems with endometriosis and had not been taking birth control for about a year and a half (we were worried about secondary infertility). Our baby was due on June 4, 2002. During my pregnancy I stopped working to focus my attention on my daughter and the upcoming birth. I continued to educate myself and took the Labor Support Course for birth doulas offered by Seattle Midwifery School. I also chose a midwife at a freestanding birth center to attend the birth of this baby, as opposed to a hospital birth like I had previously.
May 25th was my husband’s birthday. He spent the day at a training camp for Taekwondo. I used that time to pamper myself. I painted my toenails, gave myself a facial and napped. I also had my stepkids (my husband has 3 children from a previous marriage) do 13 loads of laundry! I was ready for this baby to come. Later that evening my daughter, Kayla, began to run a fever. I would finally get her settled and start to fall asleep when she would wake me up again. Her temperature was up to almost 103 degrees that night! Finally after a cool bath and more ibuprofen she fell soundly asleep. I was exhausted as I crawled into bed at 4am, relieved to be getting to sleep when I felt the first “baby hug”. About seven minutes later came another one. What a time to chose to go into labor!
There was no way I could go to sleep so I decided to get up and see if this was “it”. They continued to come, lasting about 45 seconds and every 7 minutes. I tried to watch TV, played solitaire on the computer and tried to go to sleep. My husband had to get up at 5:45am to get ready for the last day of his camp. At 5:15 I decided to wake him up and let him know I thought our baby was coming today. He woke up Brittney, our 13 year old and had her make me some breakfast. We decided that he would go ahead and go to his camp since it was only supposed to last a couple of hours and was 5 minutes away from home. If I needed him before then I was to call.
After he left I called my midwife to give her the heads up. She suggested that I try to take some ibuprofen and get some sleep. I took a bath to try to relax enough to sleep. When I would have a contraction Brittney would pour water over my enormous belly since our tub was too small to cover it. I still could not sleep and wanted my husband. At 7:15 that morning, just fifteen minutes after his camp had started, I had Brittney call him to come home. How funny it was to hear her on the phone asking for her Daddy and telling them it was an “emergency”!
After he came home we discussed our game plan. Kayla was still very sick and I did not want to leave Brittney responsible for taking care of her while at the birth center. I called my mom and had her pick her up for the day. Our oldest son was in California and the other 2 kids were capable enough to stay by themselves at home while we were gone. My husband called the midwife again at 8am letting her know we wanted to come in. (Actually he wanted to, I would have preferred to labor at home some more). Oddly enough, right after that call I was able to fall asleep! An hour later Brittney woke us both up to tell us we needed to go as we were supposed to meet the midwife there around 9:30am. As soon as I sat up I felt nauseous. What a wonderful daughter I have! She saw the look on my face and came RUNNING with a pot and got to me just in time! She cleaned it up and took it away without saying a word. How many 13 year olds would do that?!
We left to the birth center and got there around 10am. My midwife was there with her 2 students, Melissa and Karen. She asked if she could check me. I told her yes, but knew there was no way I could lay on my back. She had me lay on my side and announced I was 4-5cms! Throughout the next several hours we were left to do what we wanted. I sipped on juice and water, walked and lay down on my side when I got tired. When we walked around the birth center and would get a contraction I would hold onto my husband around his neck and let my weight drop into him. I felt so safe in his arms! The contractions were uncomfortable, but definitely bearable, I was just tired from the night before. It felt so nice later to get into the bathtub. After a while I started to fall asleep which felt wonderful! I was awoken by the student, Melissa, who was afraid my labor was slowing down too much by me being in there. It was 2pm at this point and I requested another exam, as I was curious. Again, I could only manage to lie on my side and was then told I was 8-9 cm!! Wow, almost there!
That exam must have got things going because immediately the bearable contractions changed. They were one on top of another and I had no break in between. My back began to hurt and I was horribly hot since they liked to turn up the heat when they thought the birth was soon to avoid the baby being born into too cold of a room. I was crying that I was “done” and “no more”. Karen, who was pregnant herself, kept reassuring me and telling me to get back on top of the contractions like before. She put cold washcloths on my head and sat next to me while I cried from the rollercoaster called transition. I was so scared of hurting her because I had grabbed onto her and could not let go, even though I knew she was pregnant. (My husband, who was sitting behind me, later said he feared the same thing and almost asked her if she wanted to trade spots) After a little while of this (it could not have been more than a half hour) I said I needed to push. My midwife wanted to check me and make sure it was Ok. She gave me the go ahead after that but asked me to use the bathroom first.
While on the toilet, Melissa sat in front of me and held my hands. I could not pee but also mentally could not decide where to go next. I did not want to stay in the bathroom but knew I did not want to lie down. The only thing I could think of was standing up and that did not sound too appealing either. Soon I heard the most beautiful words. “Janelle, the birth stool is ready for you if you want”. Yes! It sounded perfect. I sat on the stool with my husband behind me with his hands on my belly. Immediately I started to push. I felt like I was in so much control and the pushing felt so good! He said when I pushed he could literally feel everything moving downward in my belly. Hot washcloths were applied on my perineum but were too hot so I quickly swatted them away. After a couple of pushes I could feel the baby’s head start moving down the birth canal. It was such an amazing feeling. I noticed that when I stopped pushing his head would slip back up so I decided I was not going to stop! I would push, take a quick breath and go back into it again. I was not aware of any contractions; I just felt the power of my body.
Soon he was crowning and I felt the stretching they call the “ring of fire”. His head eased slowly out at that point since I stopped pushing. I was told in a very urgent voice to get up onto the bed in front of me on all fours. What?! You want me to do what with a head out of me?!?! I told her I couldn’t but the urgency in her voice told me that I needed to. I was helped onto the bed and within seconds my baby boy was out at 3:41pm on May 26, 2004. What a relief!! My husband had moved up to by my head when I was moved (he was not sure what was going on and was afraid it was a big emergency) and went around to cut the cord. All I could see from my view was a pair of fat feet kicking from underneath me. I was helped to roll over onto propped pillows and was handed my beautiful, meconium covered, fat baby boy. (He had his first bowel movement as he came out!) He was absolutely gorgeous and was wide-awake. I did not have to coax him at all and he latched onto my breast like he was an old pro. He had short fat little legs and chubby feet. He looked so full and round, so different from my tall and skinny little girl! He was later weighed and found to be 8 lb and 15 oz, well over a pound bigger than his sister. I sustained a very small tear towards my urethra since he was born with a nuchal hand. (His hand was up by his face when he was born). This caused his shoulders to get stuck and that was why I had to move onto my hands and knees.
Three hours later we were home with our baby and other kids. The first thing Kayla said when she saw him was “Mommy, this baby is soooo cute!” She loved her brother immediately. He continued to nurse perfectly and had my milk in within 24 hours after his birth. We named him Thomas Jacob. Thomas, after my grandfather who passed away, but we call him TJ. I had the easiest recovery time, it felt nothing like my first birth and TJ was perfect. He never lost weight or had any problems. The only drawback was that 3 days later his sister was hospitalized with pneumonia for 5 days. (No wonder she was so sick the night before he was born!) So, despite avoiding having him in the hospital he did spend most of his first week of life in one. Even then he was a perfect baby! We are expecting another boy in December 2004 and I absolutely cannot wait to have another natural birth!
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